


Pokemon Fire Red: Pacifist Version (Status Moves Only Documentation/Fanfic)

by CTNC



Series: Pokemon Pacifist Playthroughs [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Main Video Game Series), Pocket Monsters: FireRed & LeafGreen | Pokemon FireRed & LeafGreen Versions
Genre: Challenge Run, playthrough
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-01-20 14:36:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18527050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CTNC/pseuds/CTNC
Summary: Note: Despite the release date on this website, I played and wrote this playthrough before Soul Silver. It was just on a Pokemon fansite's forums.I was about to play Fire Red normally when I had a stupid idea. Let's do that insane sounding idea I saw in Gamechamp3000's comments! Nothing can possibly go wrong!Rules:1: No using Potions, Status Heals, or Revives in battle. Held items are fine.Stalling is way too easy with Full Restore and Revive Spamming.2: Battle Mode: SetNo free switches from KOs. Do I seem like someone who wants Easy Mode on?3: I Must Fight Every Trainer I can find.It’s something I do anyway, but here it makes things sound even more insane.4: No Attacks. Status Moves ONLY.No Tackle, No Poison Sting, No sanity.





	1. The Beginning of an Impossible Dream

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Pokemon Fire Red Status Moves ONLY](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/474832) by CTNC. 



Another tenth birthday in Pallet town has come and gone. The new ten year old is off to receive the traditional gift, his first Pokemon. This kid wants to be the very best, like no one ever was, but he has a core belief that violence is wrong. Nothing could sway him from that belief, but he still wants to be a Pokemon trainer no matter what. Everyone told him it was a choice between accepting the Truth of violence of battles or keeping the Ideal of peace. He had accepted the Truth, but saw no reason to lose the Ideal. With Oak’s lab coming into sight and he smiled as he thought he really would be like no one ever was. Professor Oak’s grandson was waiting for him, leaning on the wall between the front door and a No Loitering Sign. "'Sup Climmy?" Climmy waved and called back, "Hey Dude!" The kid who preferred Dude to his real name followed Climmy inside. "So you really think you can be the best without attacking?" Climmy, apparently oblivious to reality, cheerfully answered, "Yep!" Dude laughed. "You’re insane." Climmy was agreeing with another yep when Professor Oak came in to the lobby. "Sorry I'm late. Please follow me."

When Dude picked Charmander, Climmy asked if anyone picks anything else and after thinking about it Professor Oak said, "Everyone asks for Charmander or Pikachu. Charmander is usually the second choice for kids that want Pikachu, but some of them just pick at random." Climmy, not wanting to break the pattern, jokingly asked for a Pikachu before he picked his real choice. Dude asked to make sure Climmy had the right one. "Bulbasaur? Not Squirtle?" Climmy put Bulbasaur's Pokeball on his belt. "Squirtle evolves into War-tortle then evolves into something with cannons." Dude nodded. "Good point, but still, I thought you'd love that shell." Climmy shrugged. "Okay, I admit I love the shell, but even if Charmander and Squirtle weren’t practically made for fighting, I’d still like Bulbasaur most. By the way, Professor, what does Bulbasaur know?" Oak said Tackle and Growl. Dude grinned and asked Climmy for a battle. Climmy frowned. "With just Growl? I’m not ready." Dude stated the obvious, "Then you’ll never be ready." Climmy couldn't wait to prove him wrong, "You’ll see. Oh, you will see..." Dude knew how determined Climmy could be, but impossible is impossible. "Maybe, but probably not. Smell ya later."

Climmy headed north with his new ally by his side through Route 1 and Viridian City. As they traveled Climmy talked about his dream and Bulbasaur listened fascinated by how different he was. When they arrived in Viridian Forest they spent a half hour in the tall grass. Passerbys thought he was looking for a Pikachu at first, but is soon became obvious that wasn't what he was doing. Eventually they left the grass and walked up to a trainer that would obviously beat him. One violation of common sense later, Climmy won. As the prize money was handed over a spectator screamed, "What! How? You had to have used Tackle to train!" Climmy casually said, "Hey Dude. Did you know that after using Harden enough times Kakuna can attack?" Dude was dumbfounded. "You used Growl against a Kakuna until it used Struggle..." Climmy grinned and denied it, "Don't be ridiculous. I used Growl AND Harden. I didn't think Bulbasaur could take all the Struggles by himself, so I caught a Metapod. Too bad she couldn't take all the Struggles..." Dude made several noises but failed to to say anything even close to words. Climmy couldn't stop himself from laughing. "I'll challenge you when you can talk again. Smell 'ya later." Dude stared as Climmy went off to baffle more trainers.

After easily defying common sense with every other trainer in the forest, Climmy caught up with Dude to challenge him. Dude sent out a Pidgey and facing it wasn’t much different than fighting bugs, so with Leech Seed draining its health and Growl lowering its attack, it went down with little trouble. Its Sand Attack may have seemed like a problem, but it doesn’t matter much when your aim only needs to be true once. Dude summoned his starter, Charmander, and it unleashed a barrage of Scratches and Growls, but no Embers. When Climmy asked why Dude said he didn't need it. Dude changed his mind after Charmander fainted.

 **2:11** Dude Defeated

 

After defeating Dude, Climmy went all the way through Viridian Forest to reach Pewter City, home of the first real challenge for any Pokemon trainer. Bulbasuar was ready and Metapod was... not doing much. Climmy thought better safe than sorry, so he tried to go to Route 3 for training. The key word being tried. Some kid dragged Climmy to the gym. When Climmy asked how long he's been dragging people he said 8 years. Climmy wondered how that kid hadn't been arrested or put in a mental hospital. Climmy then trained in Viridian Forrest instead then headed to the gym when he felt he was ready.

When Climmy was ready he entered the gym and soon realized he may have overestimated Brock, which lead to enough training for an easy uneventful battle. Leech Seed’s drain and Growl’s Attack lowering allowed Bulbasaur to heal any damage he took. In hindsight, training to Level 15 for Poison Powder may have been overkill. What should have been the first real challenge was instead something barely worth talking about.

 **3:17** Bolder Badge!

  
  
Route 3 and most of Mount Moon had no one came close to beating Climmy, not even the so called crime family that was looking for fossils legally. Only one trainer came close to a challenge and she was definitely the first real challenge. Lass Miriam had a Level 11 Oddish. To stand a chance Climmy trained for hours to get Butterfree to Level 18 and hatched an insane plan. He would have his Butterfree or newly caught Zubat use Supersonic then switch between the two of them until Oddish Snapped out of confusion and have whoever was out use Supersonic again. If his madness wasn't apparent yet it became apparent when he chose Growl and Harden over other moves. Climmy challenged Miriam and when Oddish knocked out itself Climmy had a moment of relief... then Miriam sent in Bellsprout. Climmy was not happy. Zubat couldn't stay in against Bellsprout because Supersonic would run out of Power Points while he was trapped by Wrap, so Buterfree had to face Bellsprout alone. Supersonic couldn't be the only move used because it'd run out of power points, but she had other moves. Poison Powder was useless, Sleep Powder would just make things take even longer, but Harden was actually worth using.

 **8:58** Lass Miriam, The Road Block Finally Down!

* * *

**The Team**

**Ivysaur** \- Level 20 - Docile (Neutral)  
Leech Seed  
Poison Powder  
Sleep Powder  
Growl

 **Butterfree** \- Level 18 - Sassy (+SpD -Spe)  
Poison Powder  
Supersonic  
Sleep Powder  
Harden

 **Zubat** \- Level 16 - Jolly (+Spe -SpA)  
Supersonic  
Unusable  
Unusable  
  
You may think that grinding for an optional trainer is overkill, but there will be many more Grass types to come.


	2. Cerulean and Vermilion Cities

Looking at the ledge between Mount Moon and Cerulean City Climmy saw he had reached the point of no return, but he wondered, is this more of a literal one or a metaphorical one. Buterfree would say metaphorical, but that’s not the point. What matters is he has sights to see, like the Pokemon Center and anywhere with trainers!

After healing, Climmy checked out The Nugget Bridge. Beat five trainers for a prize? Sounds fun... until the third trainer. Climmy was fine with her Pidgey, but her Oddish and Bellsprout were very annoying. Atleast they still left him in a better mood than when he received his prize. The idiot giving out Nuggets asked Climmy to join Team Rocket, so with a glare Climmy loathingly said, "You call yourself criminals, but everything I saw you guys do in Mount Moon was legal. Name three illegal things you’ve done and I’ll consider it." Climmy waited for a moment but the Rocket said nothing. "That’s what I thought. Bye." The Rocketsent out an Ekans to attack Climmy in his anger. Needless to say, Climmy’s respect for Team Rocket went down.

 

After defeating every other trainer from Cerulean to some Clefairy’s house, Climmy was ready for Misty. The second gym leader started the challenge with Staryu and Climmy with Ivysaur. Expecting a quick and easy victory, Climmy called for Leech Seed and Poison Powder. Staryu's Water Pulses were healed by Leech Seed, so Climmy though that he had already won, right until Staryu used Recover. The “battle” raged on like Deadpool’s murder with a Zamboni. Water Pulse cause confusion, but the damage from that was healed when Staryu Recovered and eventually, something happened. Just when Climmy was about to use his phone to order lunch, Staryu, out of Recovers, fainted.

Misty's Starmie proved far more dangerous when it used Swift while Ivysaur used Leech Seed. Climmy realized he needed time more than he needed Poison Powder's drain, so he asked for Sleep Powder. Misty yelled Water Pulse repetitively, slowly increasing panic as Starmie continued to sleep while Ivysaur calmly Growled. When Starmie finally woke up it blasted Ivysaur with Water Pulse... then fainted...

 **11:44** Cascade Badge!

Climmy asked, "Did... Starmie know Recov-" "Shut up."

 

Climmy left Cerulean through the ruins of some guy's house and scolded the vandal, who was still in the backyard for some reason. "It's kind of nice to finally see someone that claims to be in a crime family doing something illegal, but aren't there better ways out of town than the back wall of a house you just robbed?" The Rocket protested, "Do you see any other way out of town?" Climmy admitted, "Okay, there really isn't. This town's layout sucks, but couldn't you have smashed a fence instead? That would be helpful to everyone and far less suspicious." The Rocket stood dumbfounded as the idea sunk in then snapped out of it to yell, "Shut Up! Get 'em Machop!" Climmy rolled his eyes. "I'll leave you alone if you smash some fences, but if you want to fight..."

 

On Climmy’s trip to Vermilion City every trainer he met learned about the power of peace, and now so will everyone around Vermilion. Route 11 will know his peaceful wrath! He had just caught a Drowzee there when Gambler Jasper walked up to him. "Hey kid, you’re a trainer, right? I have a good feeling about you." Climmy nodded to the Pokemon he had out. "Butterfree, we’ve got a challenge." Climmy sighed when Jasper sent out Bellsprout. "Do your Pokemon know Poison Powder?" Jasper smirked. "Yep, scared?" Climmy was not. "Usually I would be, but I haven’t been to the Pokemon Center since challenging the Electricians." Jasper, like almost everyone else, questioned Climmy's sanity. "Why did you send out a Flying type against an Electric Type?" Climmy shrugged. "I don't know. I'm an an insane pacifist, not someone with logic. Anyway it means you can’t Poison Butterfree. She’s Paralyzed."

Much later, after Jasper had lost, he fumed at his opponent. "What was that? Why didn’t you attack?" Climmy answered, "I don’t like to fight, so I don’t." Jasper yelled, "You can’t be a coward in the world of Pokemon!" Climmy's glare made Jasper flinch. "I am not a coward. Cowards wouldn’t aim to be the number one Pokemon trainer while sticking to their ideals of nonviolence. Cowards don’t reach for impossible dreams."

 

Next to learn would Vermilion’s gym leader. No one could stop- who’s that? "Hey Climmy, did you forget about me?" Dude tapped his foot slowly to highlight his annoyance, but Climmy didn't know what he was talking about. "Huh?" Dude tried to jog Climmy's memory. "Cerulean? Remember?" Climmy's eyes lit up for a moment and he awkwardly apologized, "Oh... Sorry about that, everyone makes mistakes." A hint of a smile appeared when Dude declared, "You’re not forgetting me this time. Go Pidgeotto!"

Climmy lead with his latest Pokemon, Hypno, who hadn't taken much time to evolve after biking several laps around the daycare center. With Poison Gas and Attract she took down Pidgeotto and Raticate and with little effort then Dude brought out Kadabra. Without a second thought, Climmy asked for Poison Gas, but he'd forgotten about Kadabra’s ability, Synchronize, which made Hypno share the suffering. Climmy waited for the last moment before Hypno reached her limit before switching to Buterfree, who waited through Kadabra’s last moments. Dude thought even though he was down to his last Pokemon he would still win... Then Buterfree used Sleep Powder on Charmeleon and Climmy switched to Ivysaur for Leech Seed. After Dude lost he asked if Climmy knew he was annoying.

 

Now that Climmy had remembered everything it was time for the gym. Judging by the look on the gym leader's face, The Lightning American (What's an American?) thought beating a kid be easy. Judging be the laughter after Climmy told him about himself, this gym leader thought this was going to be really easy.

The battle between a seasoned veteran and mad man of peace began with Voltorb and Hypno who’s first moves were Shock Wave and Poison Gas respectively. Climmy called for constant Flashes in case moves that can miss were used. Hypno was blasted by Shock Wave and, despite the accuracy drops, two Sonicbooms. Climmy returned Hypno and sent out Ivysaur who able to shrug off Shock Wave with Leech Seed. From there it was waiting for Voltorb to faint.

Lt. Surge’s Pikachu was ready to dodge everything sent his way with Double Team, but Leech Seed only needs to connect once, so Pikachu went down easily. Climmy started getting a bit nervous about the power of Lt. Surge's next Pokemon, Raichu, but he proved to be not much of a threat after Climmy saw Ivysaur easily take his hits and his preference for Double Team. When Leech Seed landed, the challenge was already over.

Lt. Surge stammered, "You, your fighting style... This is Madness." Climmy scoffed, "Madness? This. Is!" He paused. "Actually, this is Madness." Climmy burst out laughing at Surge's expressionless face. "I’ve always wanted to say something like that!" Lt. Surge joined in the laughter. "You’re a mad man, kid! Take this to prove your insane, but unquestionable victory."

 **17:00** Surge Badge!

* * *

The Team

 **Ivysaur** \- Level 29 - Docile (Netural)  
Leech Seed  
Poison Powder  
Sleep Powder  
Flash

 **Butterfree** \- Level 26 - Sassy (+SpD -Spe)  
Poison Powder  
Supersonic  
Sleep Powder  
Whirlwind

Whirlwind may seem like a weird choice, but it's planning ahead for the one advantage Fire Red has over Leaf Green.

 **Hypno** \- Level 27 - Jolly (+Spe -SpA)  
Poison Gas  
Hypnosis  
Flash  
Attract

Attract was taught as filler because depending on gender makes it inconsistent in theory. Turns out in practice it’s actually very consistent. Male Trainers have Male Pokemon and most Trainers are Male. Hypno is Female. Cue the shipping with all of Kanto!

 

Zubat was boxed because of his disappointing bulk, lack of a consistent way of inflicting damage, and forcing Start+Select+A+B against Bellsprout after Wrap due to a lack of other status moves after running out of PP.

If you think I’m overleveled, I agree. Drowzee made me realize that I’m overleveled and underpowered after the daycare raised it to an acceptable level, which was just 5 Levels before evolution. It evolved before anything interesting happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to take notes on the first Rival fight, so I had to not write it into the story. Sorry. :( Anyway, it was easier than you'd expect for someone with a Charmander. Charmander barely did over half Ivysaur's health with Ember and was taken down with Leech Seed and Sleep Powder. That move combo feels broken.
> 
> There were two more trainers with Grass/Poison Types before Misty. Yay.
> 
> Misty reminded me of Deadpool killing a guy with a zamboni. Staryu knew Recover and couldn't deal more damage than Leech Seed healed. What confusion dealt was healed when Staryu used Recover. It went down eventually and Starmie was much stronger. After Swift I knew I needed healing more than I needed poison, so I used Sleep Powder. That sleep lasted until the last turn before fainting and when they woke up they used Water Pulse... I had to check to see if if knew Recover afterward. It did.
> 
> I caught a Drowzee on Route 11 because it learns Poison Gas for some reason and can eventually learn Nightmare from the Move Reminder. I put her in the daycare then biked around until it learned Poison Gas at Level 21 and it evolves at Level 26, so it didn't to be in any important "battles" until after evolving. I also used my Attract TM because I was sure I wouldn't want it later and she had some spare moves.
> 
> With Hypno, Dude's first two Pokemon were easy thanks to Poison Gas and Attract. I messed up with Kadabra because I forgot his ability was Synchronize and used Poison Gas again. I left Hypno in as long as possible to tank Confusions before switching to Butterfree. I didn't wait for Hypno to faint because letting your own Pokemon faint when you can prevent it just feels wrong. Buterfree stood against Kadabra easily and had a 97.5 Accuracy Sleep Powder (Thanks to her Ability, Compound Eyes) for Charmeleon. I switched to Ivysaur for Leech Seed then back to Butterfree so I could put Charmeleon back to sleep whenever he woke up.
> 
> Lt. Surge's Voltorb was kind of scary with Sonicboom. It made me switch Hypno to Ivysaur, but didn't give me too much trouble overall. Shock Wave also made me realise I had picked the exact wrong time to pick up Flash. Pikachu and Raichu tried to evade with Double Team, but Leech Seed only needs to hit once. They were pushovers.
> 
> Milestones  
>  **11:44** Cascade Badge!  
>  **17:00** Surge Badge


	3. The Scenic Route

Climmy checked out the map on his Pokedex. He couldn’t go east because a Snorlax picked the “perfect” place for sleeping and couldn’t go through Saffron because it was blocked off for some reason. That left just scenic route through Routes 9 and 10 and the Rock Tunnel. It didn’t sound so bad... The first trainer on Route 9 made him think scenic routes suck.  
  
Picnicker Alicia had two Oddish and two Bellsprout. Her first Oddish lead with Stun Spore which made Butterfree immune to poison while Supersonic made the first two Pokemon KO themselves. When the second Oddish came out Climmy knew Butterfree had used half her Supersonics for the first two Pokemon so she might not be able to outlast the next two, but Oddish know only Status moves which gave Climmy an idea. He'd stall for 100 Moves until Oddish used Struggle. After Struggle started and Ivysaur had taken heavy damage from it, Climmy realized he needed a new plan. He switched to Butterfree and called for Whirlwind. Now Supersonic could be used freely on the second Bellsprout and what uses remained could be used on Oddish. For Butterfree to endure Climmy needed to switch to Hypno for Flash, but when he did Bellsprout used Wrap then Poison Powder. Hypno was not only trapped but also having her health drained by two different things. Hypno spammed Flash waiting to faint, but Wrap ended right before that moment she would and Climmy called her back. Butterfree was summoned for Supersonic and through pure luck Bellsprout hit herself four times in a row and only Oddish remained. Buterfree could only take four hits from Oddish so it was going to be close, but in the end Oddish took enough confusion damage for Buterfree to endure the rest of the battle.

**17:31** Picnicker Alicia, The End of Sanity is Defeated.

Climmy thought to himself that nothing would come even remotely close to testing his sanity like that ever again.

 

In the Rock Tunnel Climmy found out that people were expecting to him eventually. They lured Climmy into a false sense of security with Normal Types before sending out their Grass Type. It was more effective than it should have been because Climmy was leading with Butterfree to give her experience and the last trainer who tried this almost won. Butterfree had fainted against their Bellsprout, but Bellsprout was still confused, so Climmy sent out Ivysaur and prayed. Bellsprout went down to confusion.

Finally, Climmy reached Lavender Town. After healing in the Pokemon Center he wanted to visit the Pokemon Tower, but was stopped by a familiar voice right inside. "Sup Climmy? Did any of you Pokemon die from..." Dude gasped in over exaggerated mock horror, "Violence!" Climmy thought about his answer. "No, not yet. Are you going to try to kill them?" Dude laughed. "Kill? No. Knock Out? Bring it on. Get ‘em Pidgeotto!" Climmy sent out his first Pokemon and Dude couldn't believe Climmy's starter was fully evolved already.

 

Venusaur used Leech Seed while Pidgeotto unleashed Gust then scattered Sleep Powder before Climmy switched to Hypno. When Pidgeotto woke up, he couldn't do much to Hypno before going down.

Dude's next Pokemon barely fit on the floor. Man, Gyrados are big... When Climmy switched to Venusaur, Gyrados started Thrashing. It was powerful enough that it could easily Knock out Venusaur in two hits, even after a little bit of time with Leech Seed, so Climmy called for Sleep Powder before Leech Seed. Climmy siwtched to Butterfree and when he asked for Supersonic, Gyarados woke up Thrashing again. With a panicked shout Climmy called for Sleep Powder. Gyrados suddenly stopped moving and fell asleep again.While he slept Climmy switched back to Venusaur and Gyrados fell.

Dude sent out his Charmeleon to roast Venusaur, but Sleep Powder made sure that didn't happen. Leech Seed was used followed by Flash until Charmeleon woke up. When Charmeleon did, he spit an Ember at Venusaur, but missed. Climmy switched to Hypno, who could definitely take Charmelion's attacks, but after Attract she didn't need to. She just needed to not freak out about being affectionately nuzzled by something that was literally on fire. Climmy could have sworn he heard Hypno do a sigh of relief when Charmeleon fainted.

After everyone got over what just happened Dude sent out Kadabra. To his amusement Hypno used Poison Gas against it triggering Synchronize two battles in a row, but Climmy said it was still less risky than switching in Venusaur for Poison. When Hypno was near her limit Climmy switched to Butterfree, who could take the rest of what Alakazam dealt.

Dude's final Pokemon was an Exeggcute and when it used Leech Seed Climmy said, "I want one." Even though it was a Psychic Type it couldn't do much to Venusaur before being taken down by poison.

 

Dude may have lost, but he would have the last laugh. "Do you know what type of Pokemon the next gym leader uses?" Climmy turned pale as Dude said Grass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Battles should be higher quality after this chapter. I didn't realize how much notes helped until I had trouble recalling a battle I just had. After this, I made sure to write down every move as it happened.
> 
> Route 10 began with a trainer that had 4 Grass/Poison Types. Her Oddish began with Stun Spore, so Buterfree was able to take it and the first Bellsprout out with Confusion. The first two took half of Supersonic's PP and Oddish knew only Status moves, so to be safe I went with Plan B, making it use ALL 100 of it's PP with switching between Butterfree and Ivysaur so it'd use Struggle. (Yes, it really was 100. I checked.) To make things worse, I used Flash because I didn't know Struggle can miss. In Misty's segment I said it was like Deadpool's murder by Zamboni. Turns out this was the trainer I should have used that analogy for. After my team was lowered to low yellow health, I realized I needed Confusion, but I didn't want to risk running out of PP, so I used Whirlwind to deal with the second Bellsprout first. Due to sheer luck, confusion made Bellsprout hit itself four times in a row for an easy KO. I also got luck with Oddish's confusion which didn't matter as much because of Struggle's Recoil.
> 
> In the Rock Tunnel there were a lot of trainers that had Grass Types sent out after luring me into a false sense of security with Normal Types, the last of which managed KOed Buterfree with their Bellsprout. I didn't Start+Select+A+B because they were still confused. Not doing it payed off when they hit themselves letting me win.
> 
> It’s almost like the game knew someone would do something like this. With the trainer with four Grass Types at the beginning of Route 9 then trainers with Grass types hidden behind teams of Normal Types in the Rock Tunnel, it’s surprisingly good difficulty escalation.
> 
> I challanged Dude in Lavander Tower after facing every trainer I could. His Gyrados was scary with Thrash, but other than that it wasn't too bad.


	4. The Grass Gym

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is one part I can't change the writing style from script to narrative without completely rewriting it. I also kept script style writing for a short bit of texting.

Climmy didn’t know who was in charge of Celadon Gym, but he knew he was ready. He came, he saw, he ran away. On second thought, he'd heard that there were some malfunctioning slot machines that had jackpot odds of 1 in 7.777 instead of 1 in 7,777...

Climmy had a little bit of fun at the game corner and when he left, Dude was waiting outside with Climmy’s lunch. Climmy took it with a bandaged hand. "Hey Dude, thanks for picking up my Stromboli. Want to take back Saffron City from Team Rocket?" Dude looked at the madman like the madman was a madman. "You’re joking, right?" Climmy grinned. "Check out my social media." Dude stared at his phone. "...You’re joking." Climmy was having trouble not laughing. "Want to hashtag touch the poster to make sure?" Climmy snickered as Dude went in and burst out laughing at Dude's screaming. "what... YOU’RE NOT JOKING!" Climmy asked again, "You in?" Dude grinned. "Totally." Climmy grinned back, feeling Team Rocket's overkill amount of karma already. "I need time to prepare, but in the mean time, there’s a bit of physiological warfare we can do." Dude needed to know, "So, what happened in there?" Climmy had been waiting for that question. "It’s a long story that started when one idiot’s Raticate bit my hand. Team Rocket kept on with the violence and each time they attacked me I escalated my chaos. Their boss can’t stand yo boi Clim-may." Dude somehow felt a mixture of excited anticipation and deadpan disbelief. "I need to hear it all." Climmy nodded. "Okay. While I tell you, let’s go to the department store and buy out Undertale." As they walked Climmy talked and Dude couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Well, he could believe the police sirens he was hearing, but that’s because he called the cops on the game corner. Who wouldn’t?

 

That morning's events began with Climmy glaring at the Team Rocket poster in the Rocket Game Corner. It was an amazing coincidence that the one place encouraging people to Join Team Rocket was a place that ignored laws like the underage gambling one and had Rocket in the name. It was even more amazing when a Rocket with a bagel sandwich demanded, "Hands off the poster!" Climmy insincerely apologized. "Sorry, is there a reason?" The Rocket stammered, "Err, no... Just... just keep your hands off!" Climmy put two and two together. "There’s a secret button under the poster isn’t there?" The Rocket panicked. "No! No! Just back away from the poster!" Climmy was tired of idiots not getting punished for their stupidity. "I’m touching it." The Rocket screamed, "NO! GET 'EM RATICATE!" Climmy rolled his eyes. "You know what? I just want to gamble until I can get over your incompetence. Tell me which machine has the best odds and I’ll stay away until the shift change. Okay?" After a long few milliseconds of thinking, Climmy changed his mind. "Actually, I’ll just use that one by the door..." "RRAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!!!!" Climmy snarked, "You need to work on your anger issu- Ow! Did your Raticate just bite my hand? Please tell it to stop biting my hand." The screaming of, "DDIIIEE!" heavily implied a no. Climmy wondered, "Should I just wait for the cops? No, my hand’s starting to hurt... I mean like I need a hospital hurt... Butterfree, use Supersonic."

One screaming idiot’s attack later, Climmy touched the poster. "Oh, look, a button behind the poster. Lets press it! Is that the Team Rocket Hideout? Cool. I’m going to threaten to tell the cops for free prizes. By the way, I would have been nicer about the whole thing if you weren’t a depressingly stupid, needlessly violent 'secret keeper.' I’ll raid your base when my hand stops bleeding."  
  
One first aid kit and 4000 Coins in “winnings” latter Climmy went in for looting.

A Rocket at the entrance complained to himself, "Guard duty is so boring..." someone tapped him on the shoulder and asked, "Hey, do you where the good loot is?" The intruder grinned at the Rocket's bug eyed face and asked again, "So..." The guard had a question of his own, "What the ****?" Climmy explained, "I told your pathetic excuse for a 'secret' guard that I’d raid his base when my hand stopped bleeding. So, where should I start? ...You look really twitchy are you okay?" Another Rocket came for the shift chance. "Is everything okay in here? Hey, when this kid get in here?" Climmy explained again, "Your poster guard sucks. I’m looting your base just because of how much he sucks. You know, insult to injury." The backup could say only one thing to that, "what" Climmy nodded. "Yeah, I don’t like violence, so when his Raticate bit my hand I decided to have some fun at the expense of the mental health of everyone here... Hey, you look twitchy too!" A passing by Rocket interrupted. "What’s going on? Should I call the boss?" Climmy agreed with that idea. "Good idea, he should know where the loot is." The passerby tilted his head at the intruder. "...What’s the deal with you?" Climmy was glad to explain again. "I’m a pacifist that just declared war on you guys because your poster guy was a violent idiot." The passerby Rocket laughed. "You’re funny, but you need to get out." Climmy protested, "It’s true! Want to check the security video?" Climmy got the feeling the passerby was just going to stare at him. "I’ll take that as a no." Something in the passerby's head broke. "WHAT THE ****!" Climmy was having fun, but he didn't see conversations going anywhere and decided to leave. "I’m going to look for loot now, it was nice talking to- Who just through a Pokeball at my head?"

If that one moron had challenged Climmy in a normal way then Climmy’s raid would have been normal, but irritating. Because of one idiot’s actions Climmy’s rampage was as brutal as one without violence can be and so baffling Loki would be proud. Every potted plant had been flipped in the search for loot and at one point Climmy climbed in ceilings while challenging unsuspecting grunts below. He didn't expect anything there, it was just for show. When Climmy reached Rocket’s Boss everyone else in the hideout had learned why you don’t attack Climmy. Now he just needed to barge in and meet the king of these idiots.

Giovanni jumped as his office door was kicked in. "OH YEAH! Giovanni! What up mah man dude?" Giovanni spoke through gritted teeth, "I’ve been watching you and I have to ask, what the **** are you?" The intruder yelled, "It’s yo boi Clim-may! The pacifist on the war path, Woo! Let’s have a selfie! Cheese!" Giovanni blinked at the unexpected flash and the annoying guy rambled on. "Your poster dude sucks so I thought have some fun baffling yo other minions and let them know he’s why I’m doing any of this, so they’d all agree that he sucks, but it turns out your other old chaps suck too, so I just decided to declare all out war. Is you going to eat you cake? Yoink!" Giovanni demanded, "Get out." Climmy flopped onto a sofa. "I took selfies with every moron that physically attacked me or had their Raticate bite my hand. I’ll bribe you with all my extorted 'winnings' if you fire them." Giovanni calmed down. "Is that why you wanted to see me? That’s surprisingly reasonable after all you’ve done. Let me see... Hmm... Yes... I hated this guy anyway... Did you seriously moon the poster guy?" Climmy smiled fondly. "Yes, I is quite proud of that one. Is everyone fired?" Giovanni nodded. "They deserve to be fired, so consider them fired." Climmy held two thumbs up over his head. "That’s like totally the bee's knees! I’m eating your cake now." Giovanni stopped being calmed down. "Aren’t you leaving?" Climmy searched a container. "When I feel like it. Judging by your mini fridge that’s 30 hours from now. Thanks for the Dr. Cola." Climmy rose an eyebrow at Giovanni's hand. "That is Pokeball? Bad idea mah man dude."

Giovanni: Onix, take out this intruder.  
Climmy: You’re about to get owned by a vegan hippy mah man dude! Let’s pwn this noob, Venusaur! Moments like this just beg for beef jerky. Yay! nom nom nom  
Giovanni: Harden.  
Climmy: Wrong move! Leech Seed!  
Giovanni: Harden.  
Climmy: Poison Powder. You ain’t worth me time. I’m making a call.  
Giovanni: Bind.  
Climmy: Flash. Hello, is this Celadon’s Italian Restaurant?  
Giovanni: Bind.  
Climmy: Flash. Cool, I’d like combo two, pepperoni and sausage please.  
Giovanni: Harden.  
Onix: On... ix...  
Climmy: You’s not very good at this mah man dude. I’m going to have a friend pick up my order.  
Giovanni: Rhyhorn, take out this intruder.  
Climmy: Leech Seed. What’s up Dude?  
Giovanni: Scary Face.  
Climmy: Poison Powder. Yes, I’m calling you while someone’s fighting me.  
Giovanni: Furry Attack.  
Climmy: Work on your aim. Flash. Could you pick up lunch for me?  
Giovanni: Tail Whip.  
Climmy: Flash. Sweet, I ordered the Italian Restaurant.  
Giovanni: Scary Face.  
Climmy: Flash. Yeah, you can get something too.  
Giovanni: Tail Whip.  
Climmy: GG Noob. Dude, I can’t believe how bad this guy is.  
Rhyhorn: Rhy...  
Giovanni: Kangaskhan, take out this intruder! Bite!  
Climmy: Leech Seed. Let’s meet at the game corner.  
Giovanni: Tail Whip.  
Climmy: I don’t think Bite targets Physical Defense. Poison Powder. I’m just taunting this idiot right now.  
Giovanni: Bite.  
Climmy: Nope, didn’t think so. Flash. Yeah, he deserves it.  
Giovanni: Tail Whip.  
Climmy: Flash. This so called battle is almost over. Bye.  
Giovanni: Tail Whip.  
Kangaskhan: KHAN!

With a final scream, Giovani's Kangaskhan collapsed in defeat. Climmy asked with almost bored tone, "That’s was your last Pokemon? Okay. I’m leaving now, but before I go, please take this." Giovanni took it. "Undertale?" Climmy typed on his phone while explaining, "Undertale is the friendly RPG where no one has to die. I was going to have a jolly good time with it, but you could learn a lot from it, mah man dude. By the way, you can keep the base." He put the phone away and promised, "You have my word that I won’t tell anyone where it is." Giovanni suspected Climmy was lying. "What did you do with your phone?" Climmy showed Giovanni his phone. "My BFF Dude sent me a funny Meowth Video." Giovanni snickered at a Meowth trying to climb a bookcase only for it to fall on her. Giovanni relaxed a little, just as Climmy had planned. He wondered what would have happened if Giovanni had asked to see his recent texts...

 

Recent Texts

Climmy: Send me a Meowth Vid.  
Dude: Okay, but why?  
Climmy: I’ll explain later.  
Dude sent a video.

 

...or his social media.

 

CTNC: Lol just totally pwnd @Team Rocket in their Hideout in Celadon City’s Game Corner. #TouchThePoster #PacifistWarPath (Posted 23 Seconds Ago)

 

When Climmy finished telling Dude about everything, he finished by saying he'd technically kept his promise because that post was made before he said he wouldn't tell anyone and since then he'd only asked Dude to check social media... then told Dude to tell everyone where it is.


	5. The Grass Gym (For Real This Time)

After spending the rest of the day walking around town and seeing Rocket Grunts fleeing from the corner in his eye, Climmy took a well deserved night's rest. The next day, Climmy was ready to take on The Grass Gym. He sent out Butterfree for a blunt short speech. "Buterfree, I’m not going to lie. This gym is going to hurt... a lot. Are you ready?" Butterfree let out a battle cry and Climmy encouraged that attitude, "Good. Because this time, we're not getting sidetra- ah... Hang on, my phone’s ringing. Hey, this is Climmy." Dude said hey back and shared his news. "Team Rocket’s at the Pokemon Tower in Lavender Town." Climmy hoped this wasn't just a rumor. "Did you see any of them?" Dude said he had. Climmy liked where this was going. "Did you give them Undertale." He could tell Dude was grinning. "I tried. When I told them you said they could learn a lot from it they ran." Climmy was officially sidetracked. "I have to see how they feel about me in person." Dude felt the same way. "Record it for me." Climmy agreed and hung up then told Butterfree, "Change of plans. We’re going to play with Team Rocket again! Sounds fun?"

 

As Climmy climbed the tower he felt spirits' anger. No doubt they were angry about Team Rocket. When he approached the stairs to the top floor, a chilling shadow stopped him. "Be Gone!" Climmy held his hands up and calmly said, "I come in peace." The ghost demanded, "No more intruders!" Climmy asked, "No More? Did the last intruders have Rs on their shirts?" The ghost said nothing, which Climmy took as a yes. "Because I’m here to get rid of them and after yesterday they’re way more scared of me than they would be of any ghost. No offense." The ghost considered it and said, "Prove it and you may pass." Climmy giggled mischievously. "Gladly. OI, ROCKET BUDS! IS MAH MAN DUDE YO BOSS HERE!" The ghost savored the reaction from upstairs. "I feel their fear. I like it." Climmy felt like he needed to ask. "Did they hurt you?" The temperature dropped a few degrees. "They killed me." Climmy felt kind of very awkward for bringing up someone's death. "Oh... um... I think you’ll want to see what I’m going to do."

Climmy held his phone to record everything as he climbed the stairs. "Sup Old Chaps? Hey poster guy! I thought mah man dude fired you." The Poster Rocket knew this could only end badly, "Eep..." Climmy dabbed to the left. "I have something radical for you!" The Poster Rocket ran screaming and the other Rocket called after him, "Come back here wuss!" Climmy complained, "Aww... I thought he’d like a gift..." The remaining Rocket demanded, "Who do you think you are?" Climmy thought all of Team Rocket had heard, but clearly they hadn't... yet. "You not hear about yo boi Clim-may? I wrecked yo base yesterday." The Rocket sneared, "You can’t be as bad as they say." Climmy rolled his eyes. "There’s three eye witnesses that saw me flip potted plants looking for swag and you think me not bad as they say? I’d show you pics of all the plants if I wasn’t recording this for Dude. Take this and get out before I destroy your mental stability. You could learn a lot from it." The Rocket snorted, "Undertale?" Climmy cheerfully said "It’s the friendly RPG where no one has to die. I’m pretty sure the ghosts here agree you should learn from it. Am I right, ghosts?" The Rocket started getting impatient, "You should leave now." Climmy dabbed to the right. "Yo boi Clim-may is the Pacifist on the War Path! He’s not leaving until you leave or learn from da gift." The Rocket dismissively said, "Sure, I’ll learn. Now get out." Climmy acted heartbroken. "I don’t believe you want to learn about kindness." The Rocket's clenched fists said no. "Do you want me to make you leave?" Climmy raised an eyebrow. "I react quite poorly to violence. You think yo boi Clim-may insane now? Push it you should not, dawg!" The Poster Rocket returned, panting, "Don’t touch him! He gets crazier!" Climmy cheered, "Yay, Poster guy! Why are you back?" The Poster Rocket nervously eyed the stairs. "Your friend wouldn’t let me run." Climmy thought he was alone so he watched the stairs curiously. He should have know what was coming and felt stupid for not expecting Dude to climb the stairs. "Hey Climmy. I saw him run out and tried to give him Undertale, but he just ran back in. It was hilarious so I followed him to see how else he’d freak out." Climmy almost felt bad for the idiot and said, "Let him go. He’s suffered enough." Dude nodded. "You heard em moron, get out." The Poster Idiot ran again and Climmy rummaged through his bag. "Here’s an Escape Rope. You know what to do?" Dude tried to hide a smile. "That’s just mean." Climmy shrugged. "So?" Dude laughed as he escaped, "Smell ya later!" The remaining Rocket took a horrified moment for everything to sink in and screamed, "HOLY ****! How are you worse than they say?" Climmy suggested, "Want to leave now?" The Rocket had a worse idea. "I’m going to beat the **** out of you." Climmy snapped his fingers and the abyssal darkness of a ghost towered over him. The two demanded as though one, "LEAVE!" The Rocket panicked. "****! ****! ****!" Climmy watched the Rocket flee and told the ghost, "That was fun." The ghost stated, "I know you can end Team Rocket." Climmy nodded. "Can and will. Want to hear my plans?" The ghost declined. "I don’t need to. I’m finally at peace." For a moment before the ghost vanished, Climmy thought he could see a Marowak waving good bye. With his job done, Climmy used his other Escape Rope and found himself staring down the Poster Rocket, who was about to run back in, faint at the sight of him. That wasn’t planned, it was just perfect timing.

 

A few days later, Climmy stood in front of the Grass Gym again, summerizing to his Pokemon, "Okay. We’ve gambled, messed with Team Rocket, got rid of the Snorlax roadblocks by throwing Pokeballs at them, went fishing, visited the Safari Zone, trained some new Pokemon and worked on my Pokedex. Is there any other way we can procrastinate? ...No?" He sighed. "Well, it’s okay. Hopefully this won’t suck as much as I fear. Venusaur and Hypno, you know why I’ve put this off so long. Buterfree, you really know. Exeggcute, you don’t want to know. Trust me, you’d get bored finding out. And finally, our latest ally. I’m sending you out first. Sorry..."

Erika softly said, "Hello, I’ve seen you at the door a few times. Glad you finally came in." Climmy screamed, "I’m finally ready! Bring it on!" The lady Climmy thought was gym leader asked, "For what?" Climmy thought this indoor garden was the right place, but he wondered, "Isn’t this the gym?" Erika apologized, "Oh, sorry. Sometimes I dose off. Did you come here to challenge me?" Climmy liked this leader more than he knew he'd like her team. "Yes, but it’s nice to meet a trainer that doesn’t just want to fight. If you want to relax some more, feel free." Erika shook her head. "No, it’d be rude to say no to your challenge. Come out, Vitreebell."  
Climmy was disappointment came only partly from wanting to procrastinate, "Okay then, let’s do this Cloyster."

Erika's Victreebell started with Stun Spore, letting Climmy's Cloyster set up a layer of Spikes. Climmy got greedy and asked for a second layer, but it payed off when Cloyster endured Giga Drain. With Cloyster's job done Climmy switch to Venusaur who healed any damage he took with Leftovers Climmy found left behind by Snorlax. Venusaur stared Roaring to force switches and Climmy got excited when Tangela was sent out. Venusaur could use Poison Powder! Ingrain quickly killed the mood by counteracting the poison and Climmy switched to Butterfree for Supersonic only for his hopes to be crushed farther by Poison Powder. With Buterfree poisoned Climmy couldn’t have her in battle to keep Tangela confused the whole time. After enough confusion to make Erika use a Hyper Potion Climmy switched to Hypno to use Flash until Cloyster could finish what Buterfree started. While Hypno used Flash he suffered from Poison Powder and Climmy began to notice that Ingrain’s healing wasn’t quite canceling out the slow drain of poison. When Tangela’s accuracy couldn’t go lower Climmy called back Hypno and let Venusaur stand in to wait for Tangela to fall.

When Tangela could take no more, Victreebel was resummoned. Venusaur Roared to return her to her Pokeball, making Erika send out Vileplume. Venusaur Roared again to bring back Victreebel and kept on Roaring until Erika was defeated. With her loss, she smiled warmly and gave Climmy his reward.

 

 **39:06** Rainbow Badge!

 

Erika handed over the badge. "That was a lovely battle." Climmy nodded in thanks exchanged the badge with a letter. "Before I go, please read my invitation." Erica wondered, "Oh, what's it for?" Climmy grinned. "Chaos."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you wondering why I didn't use Gastly/Haunter against Erika, honestly, I forgot about them. Ironically, I had considered using them when planning my team, but I decided against it because of their near nonexistent bulk. Gengar's bulk would be almost worth considering, but I can't trade to evolve Haunter.

**Author's Note:**

> First thing's first. I lost the battle that happens after picking starters. You don't have to win it, especially if you can't win it.
> 
> The good news is Bulbasaur learns Leech Seed at Level 7. The bad news is you need Bulbasaur starts at Level 5. Without Leech Seed you can't do anything, to opponents, so I stall out cocoon Pokemon until they use Struggle. Bulbasaur alone can't survive Struggle, so I caught a Metapod to ~~die~~ tank Struggle. It got KOed. Twice. By cocoons. Can I have my badge of dishonor? For the rival, who I named Dude, I just decided save before hand to try it. He never used Gust or Ember. At the time I assumed Gust was latter than Level 9, but no Ember confirmed this Dude battle has the RNG AI.
> 
> I may have overtrained for Brock, and by that I mean Level 15 for Poison Powder. It was too easy. Lass Miriam in Mt. Moon on the other hand, much harder. I don't think you remember her because she's usually an easy forgettable trainer. My main offense Is Leech Seed, which doesn't affect Grass Types, and Poison Powder, which doesn't affect Poison Types. Miriam has Oddish and Bellsprout. Grass/Poison Types. I needed another way to make Pokemon faint (For once that way of putting it works best...) and there was a way, confusion. The two options for getting it were to grind Buterfree to Level 18 for Supersonic and something that leads to a sentence that isn't said much unsarcastically. The good news is Mount Moon has Zubat! This leads to another rare sentence. The bad news is they don't know Supersonic at their levels. Once I leveled up Zubat I found out Bellsprout know Wrap, which forces Zubat to stay in and waste Supersonic's PP, and eventually make it attack while it's trapped in battle. You could try grinding until its next status move, but that's Confuse Ray at level 26. (28 with evolution.) I eventually grinded Butterfree to Level 18 and came up with a stupid plan. Use Supersonic then switch between Zubat and Butterfree until Confusion wore off. Bellsprout's Wrap made me use the much more sane strategy of having Butterfree stay in and use Harden during the confusion turns.
> 
> Milestones
> 
> **0:31** First Level Up  
>  **0:41** First New Move  
>  **0:51** First Trainer defeated!  
>  **2:11** Dude Defeated  
>  **3:17** Bolder Badge!  
>  **8:58** Lass Miriam, The Road Block Finally Down!  
>   
> Side note: I've chosen Growl and Harden over other moves. If that isn't embracing madness, I don't know what is... Growl was because Bulbasaur's other move was Tackle, but Harden felt better than the alternate Status Move, Stun Spore.


End file.
